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A Post-Art School Crisis Combined with a Midlife Crisis
Maybe it’s because I turned 42 last week and am experiencing a midlife crisis, but birthdays for me are a time to reflect on the past year and make grand plans for the next year. In case anyone younger than me has stumbled upon this column, just know that the feeling of “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up,” never seems to leave you. If you’re feeling aimless and always looking around for an adultier adult, no one is coming and you must make your own way. Most days I feel like I’m 20 until I look in the mirror.
This is all to say, I wasn’t ready to leave school when I finished my degree.
Most students countdown the days until they get to walk that stage, leaving their undergraduate careers in the rearview mirror. I counted down the days until I would finally be on my own, without a professorial angel whispering over my shoulder.
As for me, I would happily plunk down the cash for a few more semester parking permits and joyfully skip back into Sacramento State’s giant metal shed that they referred to as the “Art and Sculpture Lab.” I’m not done learning. I need more time. Most vitally, I need more guidance. I’m working without a net and stumbling around in the dark. I immediately miss the “La La Land” of working in a warehouse with a leaky roof.
